Yes I'm thankful for my family. Yes they mean the world to me, but they also drive me CRAZY! I won't sit here diving into all the issues that put me over the edge, just know they are there. They exist, and I'll be addressing them with my shrink should I ever return to therapy.
So It's black friday, and I just returned to the home of the Rents, after going out for breakfast, and demanding to be brought back prior to any shopping. I opted to take a long nap, in a finally quiet house. A much needed rest from all things Thanksgiving, and all the idiosyncrasies that make me a little extra loony when I'm around the fam. Just as I felt myself slipping into a deep sleep they were back, and LOUDLY invading my peace! They were chatting at ridiculously high decibels, rustling shopping bags carrying all sorts of crap. The dogs started to bark, and my dreams of afternoon zzz's were suddenly shattered!
I leapt off the couch, and announced I would be heading back to the city as soon as I could get my things together. This took all of three seconds. I'm a lite packer, and all I really had with me was a change of clothes, my assorted homeopathic cold treatments, a tin of sucrets, and a bottle of good old nyquil! I put Elliott's harness and leash on, and darted to the garage where my rental car was parked. Mom followed me out, probably to get a few last minute nags in. I chucked my stuff in the back seat. Opened the front door for El. He hopped in the shotgun seat. I said bye to mom, thanked her for everything. She hit the garage door opener, and I proceeded to back out. Before I could take a sigh of relief that this visit was over... BOOM! A loud, oh so loud, incredibly earth shaking BOOM!
I put the car in park, and froze for a second. Mom, my sister in law, and my brother consecutively ran outside. They asked what happened. I told them I just smashed my side view mirror into mom's SUV! They said are you ok? Is Elliott ok? I answered "yes, we are fine. I just feel like shit, and I want to go home!"
My brother picked up the crippled, and cracked up mirror, wrapped it in newspaper and handed it to me. I grabbed it, took a second to feel as though this was some sort of metaphor for my life, then rolled up my window, put the car in reverse, and finally managed an uninterrupted journey back to NYC.
Boy do I know how to make an EXIT! I'm chalking this one up to a TOFURKEY coma, and lingering effects of nyquil. Happy Holidays!
3 comments:
Such a thing would never happen in my family.
Mostly because most of them aren't talking to each other. Oi, the drama.
Glad you were able to make good your escape in the end.
Ooooh L! I'm sorry about the mirror! It could have been worse. I understand how the fam can drive ya nuts but I always chalk it up to 'you gotta do what you gotta do' when it comes to holidays. :)
You made it through my pal!
I cant believe you were right around the corner from me but I was away in Mexico. It would have been GREAT to see you over the holidays.
I know how your family can drive you insane. My family is on my last nerve these days. I feel your pain!
Glad you survived!
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