You really CAN'T go home again!

Last night I was haunted by old friends. People I haven't spoken to in ages. Three friends I once considered dear, some of whom haven't crossed my mind in decades! Why were they suddenly in my thoughts?

Well it all happened in my dreams. In fact it was the latest installment of a recurring nightmare. The general common thread... me not being able to find my way home! Not to my apartment in Gramercy Park, but to my childhood home on Eleventh Avenue in Monroe Township, New Jersey. The house I grew up in. The house where I lived for 18 years. A place even my parents no longer reside.

So there I was with this random collection of old pals. They were all exactly the way I knew them at the height of our friendships... looks, attitude, age. etc. However, I was the "adult" me. We were all hanging out, playing in the street, as we often did. The next thing I remember we were piling into a car. For a flash here, and a flash there, it seemed as though I was the driver. This kept changing. One second a person from the random crew took to the wheel. The next second it was one of the new people in my life... some good friends... some a strange assortment of acquaintances. Regardless of the person in the driver's seat, we could never seem to get past a certain block! We'd circle, drive down different roads, but no matter what we just couldn't get to Eleventh Avenue. At points we were so frustrated we decided to ditch the car, run the streets, hop fences, and even swim through pools.

This nightmare was so intense, I actually woke up shaking. WTF does it mean?

Sigmund Freud once called dreams the "royal road to . . . the unconscious". How ironic considering my dream was literally a road to nowhere! I've always been fascinated by dreams, and interpreting dreams, so I decided to do a little a little research, and a little soul searching.

I started with the notion that I could never go home again. Seems simple enough. Almost a year ago my parents sold Grossman Headquarters and set up residence in a modern day geezerville. You know one of those 55 plus communities for "active" adults! I guess I haven't fully dealt with the fact that I can never again go to THE place I've always considered home. This theme is pretty obvious, but could my search for my old home be even more symbolic?

According to The Dream Visions Dictionary... A house, apartment, flat, or any place of residence often represents you or your life, even if the dream residence does not resemble your actual residence. The events in the dream residence may represent events in your life. A house can also represent security, comfort, protection, familiarity, or belonging.

I definitely have issues with COMFORT, FAMILIARITY, and BELONGING! This makes so much sense.

Feeling enlightened about this interpretation thus far I moved on to other key parts of the dream. The concept of not being able to find something... and the act of swimming.

Back to The Dream Visions Dictionary... Dreaming that you have lost an item can mean you feel you've lost in your real life whatever that item represents, or that you're afraid of losing it, or that you feel perhaps you've been overlooking it or taking it for granted lately.

Swimming can represent moving forward in your life or trying to achieve a goal (get somewhere in your life), or freedom from your usual limitations.

ALL of this strikes a chord! The lost home and the swimming truly are symbolic to me. I could go on and on, but I'll save these issues for future blogs.

Last night's dream and today's interpretation are the best therapy I've had in a long time. I learned a lot... and I've rediscovered my passion for dream interpretation. Will I actually do anything with what I've learned about myself? Probably not!